Survivor's Guilt
by BrigitteJ
Summary: The boys are sent to America when Koenma loses track on an assassin. Friendships are made, secrets are told and hearts are broken. Kurama/OC
1. Phone Call

There were many days that started like this. The sun had yet to rise over the horizon, the waves of gold and pink had started to flare just beyond where the eye could see, birds had just began to stretch their wings and waken their children, and the sleepy city began to turn out a few souls. Soon, when the sun finally climbed into the sky, the children would be standing at the bus stops in their squeaky rain boots and parents would be sitting at the table with the coffee, which they would just leave on the sink to get cold when they realize they're running late.

I swung my coat around my shoulders, sliding my arms into it and embracing the warmth of its insides. The house was still quiet with the sleep of my brothers and I took light steps across the living room and into the kitchen. The low music coming from the ancient record player in the corner soothed me and I found myself dancing lightly on my toes as I hurried to finish the toast I had prepared.

Footsteps bounced off of the floorboards in the stair case that led up to the bedrooms. A young boy of eleven greeted me in his red pajamas, rubbing his eyes. I glanced at my watch, making note of the ticking second hand.

"Ian, tell the others I'll be home late today. Don't be late for school." I popped some bread into the toaster for him and kissed the top of his head before flying out the door, the ends of my coat following in delay like some sort of super hero's cape.

I pranced down the sidewalk with joy, enjoying the bare streets while they remained so. The town was small, anyway, and most people that lived there drove. It wasn't hard to find some space to be alone. I passed only three people on foot during my short journey, none of which looked nearly as cheerful as I felt, though I doubt I had any real reason to be so flighty to begin with.

The doorbell rang as I swung the glass door open, alerting the young girl behind the counter of my presence. She smiled at me toothily.

"Hey there, Oz." She gave me a nod and continued to write on the napkin she'd been holding. "Today's the day, I'm tellin' ya." She stuck out her tongue at an odd angle, writing down a phone number in the girliest writing she was capable.

"Pepper, you're hopeless." I laughed at her, removing my coat and sitting it on the back of the chair. The coffee shop would be opening in ten minutes and I had yet to start any of the machines. Pepper shrugged at me and slid the napkin into the pocket of her apron. I wrapped mine around my waist, tying the back.

* * *

><p>The day passed by quickly, and the sun had come to sit above the café where the bright rays drifted in through the windows. A man in a dress suit took his latte from my hand and I leaned on my elbows on the counter. Pepper came through the swinging door that led to the back kitchen carrying a tray of croissants and loaded them into the display case. At that moment, I felt a slight buzzing in my apron pocket. My heart leapt into my throat for the slightest second and I excused myself, rushing to the back. I dug my hand in the pocket, pushing aside two pens and a harshly folded piece of paper before finding the compact. I flipped it open to see the familiar face of Koenma staring back at me.<p>

"Koenma, are you crazy?" I nearly shouted. I squeeked, checking to be sure no one had heard me. "I'm at work. You know, my _real_ job?"

Koenma glared back at me, but something was off about his expression.

"Ozelia, your _real _job will have to wait, this is urgent!" Koenma shouted back at me. I scoffed. The toddler hadn't even spoken to me in nearly a year, it was miraculous that he'd even managed to contact me.

"Make it fast. I don't want to have to explain this to anyone." I looked around again, peering through the tiny window in the swinging door. The café was nearly empty and Pepper was filing her nails next to the register.

"I'm surprised you picked up. Why do you still carry that thing around?" Koenma jumped off topic. "Never mind, we don't have time for questions. I need a favor from you." Koenma rubbed his temples. It had been forever since I saw him, and he looked just as stressed out now as he always had.

"Koenma, I'm sorry but-" I started, but Koenma waved me off.

"Listen, I have a team of detectives that are in trouble and we need your help. An unfortunate incident happened and, well, they need somewhere to stay where they won't be found." Koenma looked pleading. I immediately shook my head.

"Koenma, you know I can't do that. My brothers and I stopped working for you for a reason. We have lives now." I felt saddened by rejecting Koenma after he had done so much for my family, but it was true.

"Ozelia, I don't have many choices. They're a good team and they need to be protected. I already had a falling out with them over it earlier. My life was threatened at least three times during the whole ordeal but they agreed it was for the best. They won't get in the way, it's only a couple months. Until I find this guy and they can go kill him. Please." Koenma stared hardly back at me with the same pained and worried expression I'd only seen him bare one other time before. Guilt rattled me- it was true that I owed Koenma a lot.

"I…" The door swung open and Pepper poked her head into the back room, chewing gum.

"Hey, it's almost two. You leave in ten." I nodded at her and she returned to the front.

"Fine. Okay." I nodded into the compact. "When will they be here?"

"Their flight leaves Saturday night. They'll be there around three in the morning on Sunday." A faint smile plastered itself on Koenma's lips.

"I'll pick them up from the airport, then." I sighed. "Don't make me regret this, Koenma." I hung up the compact, sticking it in my jean pocket and removing my apron. I checked my watch again, declared it was time to leave, and clocked out after saying a quick farewell to Pepper.

Walking down the sidewalk home took twice as long as it should have. My feet seemed to shuffle slowly and my legs felt as though they weighed two tons. The warm spring sun beat down over me, watching my every move. I studied faces of the people working their way to nowhere, wondering what it was I had gotten myself into. I pulled my jacket tighter around me as though that would block out the conversation with Koenma.

_It's been so long since I heard from him._ I reached the front of my house and stepped inside, sealing myself from the outside world with the thud of the large door. Sounds of a television graced my ears from the living area. I stepped into it, removing my jacket as I did. Alex sat in front of the television, a controller in his hands. A character on the screen fell over and Alex cursed at it.

"You haven't gotten any better at that game." I laughed. It seemed to have startled him because he turned to me quickly.

"Don't do that shit!" He laughed too. I sat behind him on the couch, leaning on my knees with my elbows.

"Where's Evan?" I prodded, watching Alex restart the level over again.

"Upstairs, I think. Thinks just because he's older than everyone that he gets to sleep in later, I guess." Alex shrugged. I debated rather I wanted to repeat the story over and over again, and decided it was better than the alternative of hearing two adult men yelling at me at once.

"Alex, Koenma called me today." I put it bluntly. It captured his attention and he paused his game, turning back to face me, waiting for an explanation.

"He's sending his detectives to stay with us. He said they're in some sort of trouble and need to hide." I sat back in my seat, waiting. Alex said nothing at first, but stared at me hard with his vibrant green eyes.

"Did he say anything else?" I didn't respond. "Well, okay. I guess that can't be too bad, right? We owe the guy anyway."

I was relieved to hear Alex sounding so optimistic. He'd always been the positive one in our family, even in the hardest times. It was Evan's reaction I was more fearful of. His temper flew off the handle on multiple occasions that I felt was overdramatic, but Evan always did have a hot temper.

"They'll be here Sunday morning. I'm picking them up at the airport." I sighed, running my hand through my long hair. I looked at Alex, who seemed to understand my concerns about Evan. It wasn't really that I was afraid he'd be angry about having guests, as much as I was concerned about how he reacts to my contact with Koenma.

The door swung open and Ian stepped inside, shutting it behind him. His backpack landed on the floor beside him and he came into the room to join us.

"I got a B on my science test!" Ian said proudly. I smiled at him- or more or less, his innocence.

"That's great, Ian. I have some news. You remember when we worked for Koenma?" I held my arm out and Ian jumped on the couch to sit next to me, curled under my arm. He nodded at me and I continued. "Well, he's sending some of his other employees to live with us for a while." Ian grinned widely. The kid was always anxious to meet someone knew.

"I better go tell Evan." I shot a look at Alex, who then tossed a controller at Ian and started a co-op game. I stood up, moving around the couch and walking up the stairs towards Evan's room. I knocked twice and waited. The door creaked open and Evan's dark eyes stared out at me. He moved aside and I stepped in, taking a seat on the edge of his bed. Somehow I felt almost afraid of my own brother, which made me chuckle. Evan stared at me expectantly.

"I was cleaning my sword." Evan took it from its place on the table across from me and slid it back into the sheath. "You want to talk about something?"

I nodded, but remained silent. For the past year, Evan had spent so much time in his room I felt as though I had to make an appointment just to talk to him.

"Evan, I know you aren't going to like this…" I paused, frowning.

"Koenma called you today." Evan said plainly. He glanced up at me from where he'd been studying the sheath that concealed his sword. I suddenly felt foolish.

"Yeah, that's it." I stared back at him. He said nothing for a short time.

"What did he want?" His voice dripped with malice. I shook my head at him. We all knew how much we owed to the ruler, including Evan. It amazed me that he had so much hatred for him.

"He's sending his detectives to stay here." I didn't offer further explanation, but Evan didn't appear to need it. He nodded in understanding, but the look on his face was purely anger. I sighed, standing.

"Evan, I know you don't like this, but try not to be to miserable okay?" I left the room, shutting his door behind me. I stood at the sliding glass door that led into our back yard, watching the sun as it began to set on the horizon. The waves of gold and pink had started to flare just beyond where the eye could see, birds wrapped their wings around themselves and their young children, and the busy city began to fall into a light slumber.


	2. Transatlanticism

I opened my eyes, the darkness of the night piercing into them. I could still see, of course. I sat up quietly and dressed before making my way down the stairs. I passed by my mother's room and saw her form sleeping quietly in the bed through the open door. Downstairs, I slipped into my shoes and stepped into the cold night air.

"Hiei, you know you can come inside if you wish." I smiled up into the tree where my close friend sat, eyeing me.

"Kurama, you seem to forget how much I despise the humans." He jumped down, landing gracefully beside me. We walked down the sidewalk quietly to the place where we were to meet Yusuke and Kuwabara. We reached the spot before they did. They arrived rather loudly but ceased when they saw we were waiting.

"What's going on?" Yusuke leaned against the wall impatiently. I didn't know- I doubt any of us did. Botan appeared behind them, a frown on her face.

"Yusuke!" She ran towards us, a file folder in her hand. "We just received word from the demon you've been hunting. We haven't figured out where he's hiding yet, but we have to do something before he figures out where you live. Something terrible could happen." Botan handed me the folder. Inside was the photo of Inoshishi and a paper of his last known locations. The most recent was three days ago. We'd fought him, but he'd escaped us. I frowned, trying to put together the pieces of the puzzle. It was impossible- we didn't have enough information.

"So why couldn't this wait?" Kuwabara mumbled, looking over my shoulder.

"Koenma wants to send you away until they figure out where he's hiding, to keep your families safe. He's contacted one of his ex-agents and confirmed that you can stay with them until further notice." Botan looked around at all of us. Yusuke stood up, anger on his face.

"The hell with that! I'm not going anywhere, Botan." Yusuke practically yelled.

"Yusuke, something bad could happen to your mother or Keiko!" Yusuke didn't have an argument for that one. It's hard to attack a man when you didn't know where he was or when he was going to attack you again. I sighed. It was an argument I agreed with Botan on- I didn't want my mother at risk, surely. Perhaps it was for the best. Botan handed Yusuke a small envelope.

"Here's your plane tickets. You'll be picked up at the airport on Sunday morning. Flight leaves Saturday night."

Yusuke frowned at her, clearly against the entire idea. My gaze adverted to Hiei, whom I was surprised to find hadn't made any argument against the subject. I was reminded of Yukina; Hiei would kill anyone who hurt her, but by that time it would be too late. It was clear that he didn't like the idea of leaving her here alone, but then again she was under the protection of Genkai, and you couldn't get much better than that. Still, his expression was mixed uneasily of anger and understanding. Botan left, the four of us standing around in the empty allyway.

"This should be interesting." I spoke slowly, looking at my companions. No one looked particularly happy. Yusuke unsealed the envelope and examined the tickets.

"We're going to America, guys." Yusuke was bewildered, passing the tickets to Kuwabara, who gaped. I frowned at the idea. It was as far away as one could go without entering another world, which indeed made it much safer than staying within Inoshishi's target range, yet it was almost too far away. None of us wanted to leave loved ones behind, but we didn't want to risk their safety either. It was impossible to go to Genkai's temple- we could be easily followed there, and the women in our lives frequented there too often for it to remain safe.

"There's a note in here too. It says "Ozelia Swift, blonde hair and blue eyes. She'll wait for you at the terminal." I guess she's our host?" Kuwabara looked up at the rest of us.

"We're staying with a girl?" Yusuke blinked at him.

* * *

><p>"I'll do my best to contact you while I'm gone, Mother, but I can't promise anything." I swung the bag of belongings over my shoulder. My mother watched me sorrowfully as though expecting I'd never return. I hugged her, a smile on my face, though on the inside I was purely hoping that no harm would befall her while I was gone.<p>

"I'm sure you will, Suichi." She pat me on the back softly and escorted me to the door. I'd told her I was doing an international studies program and wasn't sure when I'd be returning- it was the only excuse without a deadline that I could think of. She believed it, though I'm sure she was slightly skeptical, though she didn't ask any questions. She'd never been much of a prier when it came to my endeavors. I felt guilty for the lie, but it was the only way to keep her safe.

I walked down the sidewalk to the car where Atsuko, Yusuke and Kuwabara waited for me. I slid in quietly, looking out the window and watching the night sky fly above me as we drove to the airport. We reached it all too soon and I found myself standing in the check in gate in only moments. Hiei waited for us there, an annoyed expression on his face as he always seemed to have.

"We won't be in America until like, three." Yusuke counted on his fingers. "Guess it's a good nap time, right?"

I nodded in agreement, but I doubted I'd be able to sleep.

* * *

><p>I sighed, sliding my shoes on. I yawned and passed by the living room where I found Ian sleeping soundly on the couch. I shook my head, smiling. <em>Poor kid.<em> It was nearly time for me to be at the airport; I could never get used to waking up at three in the morning, let alone getting up that early and driving to meet new people. I ran my hand through my hair, being sure to look something like presentable. I pulled my hoodie sleeves down over my cold hands, protecting them. I stepped outside and met the chill of the wind.

I made it to the airport in thirty minutes; living out in the middle of nowhere tended to do that. I stepped into the large glass building, settling into a chair. There were very little other patrons in the airport; a man and his young daughter slept on a bench, presumably having missed a previous flight. I watched outside of the vast windows as the plane landed in the runway. I stood, making my way towards the doors where they would be coming inside. Minutes passed and the plane's passengers made their way into the building. Several people passed before I caught sight of four boys who seemed to be looking for someone. I approached them, trying to be welcoming.

"Hey!" A tall boy with black hair grinned at me. "You must be Ozelia?" I extended a hand and I took it.

"Yep, that's me! You can call me Oz. You must be Yusuke, right?" Something about the boy just seemed to lift my spirits as I found myself genuinely smiling back at him.

"You got it. Just between the two of us, we weren't really excited about this whole thing. Sorry for all of this." Yusuke rubbed the back of his head. He then gestured to another tall man with short orange colored hair. "This is Kuwabara," he gestured to the other two, a short man with black hair and another tall one with long red hair. "Hiei and Kurama."

I smiled at them. "Well, I'm Oz. My brothers will be meeting you later today, as they're sleeping. I've set up rooms for you, so you can sleep when we get home if you wish." I gestured for them to follow me and we made our way towards the SUV.

"Unfortunately, it'll take a good half hour to get to the house. I'm sure you're all very tired from your trip." I slid into the driver's seat. The one called Kurama sat beside me while the others sat in the back. I turned the radio on low, attempting to shatter the thick silence.

Ten minutes into the ride, I could see Yusuke and Kuwabara sleeping behind me. Hiei appeared annoyed, staring out the window. Kurama watched the road as thoroughly as if he were driving himself, and I couldn't help myself.

"So, Kurama." I turned onto a winding road where the speed limit nearly doubled. "Tell me, is there anything I should know before I bring you all into my house?" I smirked and Kurama seemed to get my joke.

"You have nothing to worry about." He paused. "Kuwabara and Yusuke have petty arguments, but nothing serious, it's mostly just jokes. I'm sure you will like them."

I nodded, glancing back at the sleeping teens.

"What about you?" I joked. Kurama looked thoughtful for a moment.

"No, I don't believe so." He smiled slightly, glancing over at me.

We reached the house shortly after that and I woke the two sleepers. They shuffled into the house, gaping at the size. I made my way towards the stairs, the four of them behind me. I showed them to their rooms before making my way to my own room.

I poured coffee into my cup and sat down at the table, watching the steam rise from the cup. I heard footsteps leading into the kitchen and turned to see who it was. Kurama stood there, looking wide awake. My watch said it was only nine, yet he seemed to glow with energy. I yawned.

"You're up early." I said, avoiding another yawn. "I wasn't expecting anyone to be awake this early."

"Yes, I tend to get up in the early hours. I can't ever seem to sleep in past ten anyway." Kurama pulled a chair out and sat down.

"I can make you something if you like." I offered, but Kurama shook his head.

"I'm alright, thank you." I studied him for a moment, trying to figure out what would interest him most. He was quiet, polite, reserved. I smiled.

"I have to show you something." I stood up, exiting the kitchen. Kurama followed behind me. We made our way towards the back section of the house. I slid open a set of double doors. Kurama grinned widely at the sight. Several bookshelves lined the walls perpendicular to the door. Across from us was a wall compiled almost entirely of windows that overlook the back garden. A glass door led outside to them. In the center of the room was a large couch with a coffee table, across from which were two matching chairs. Kurama approached one of the bookshelves.

"You like?" I grinned, feeling proud of my correct accusation. "You seemed like the reading type. I don't know you all that well, but I prefer to read in the garden. It's beautiful, I swear." I laughed awkwardly, unsure of how the boy would react. He seemed to laugh to himself too.

"This is wonderful. You were correct in your assumption. As for the garden, I would love to see it." I walked over to the door, unlocking it. We stepped outside, the morning sun shining overhead.

"It's a mixed plot. Some are of the human world, others- not so much. But they're all wonderful." We walked along a stone path that led to the center of the garden, where a large tree grew over a wooden bench. A tall, stone wall surrounded the garden, capturing the beauty inside. Kurama approached a few plants, examining them.

"I always adored snapdragons." Kurama said, touching the petal of a pink bud softly between his fingertips, feeling the silk of the flower. From that moment I knew that Kurama was going to become my favorite houseguest.


	3. Through the Rabbit Hole

I sat beneath the tallest tree in the backyard with my back to the house. The rolling hills offered great space, but little of it was flat enough to call a battleground. Yusuke and Kuwabara faced one another, each of them staring hard at the other. Ian sat cross legged next to me, staring intensely at the two with excitement pure in his eyes. I watched them too- but for different reasons than the child. Kuwabara conjured up a sort of sword made from spirit energy and charged towards Yusuke, who jumped out of his way. The fight wasn't really all that vigorous, but the boys needed to stay on their toes. I heard the back door slide open and shortly after Kurama and Alex were at my side. Ian cheered on the scrimmaging boys, who by now were sweating in the sun.

"Your friends are strong." I noted to Kurama, looking up at him from my spot on the ground. I heard a yelp from Kuwabara, who flew into the ground just as I turned to look at the fight. Yusuke was standing smugly over him in victory. Kuwabara picked himself up off the ground and the two of them came to join us.

"I gotta say, Oz, you guys got a nice place out here." Yusuke wiped the sweat off his forehead, puffing from exhaustion.

"Our parents left it to us when we were children. At one point, there were seven of us living in this one house." I shrugged. The house had to be big for my large family. "My father knew how to keep us stable. Money was never an issue." Yusuke merely smiled.

"Your other brother- not much of a people person is he?" Kuwabara inquired, rotating his shoulder. I laughed.

"No, he's not. If it were up to him we'd live on a totally different planet." Alex mumbled, looking over his shoulder as though expecting Evan to show up behind him and take his head off.

"Evan's the quiet one." Ian joined the conversation. He picked a small flower from the ground in front of him, twirling it in his fingers. "Oz is the loud one!" He laughed and I pretended to slap his shoulder. Alex laughed too, because he was right. I shrugged anyway.

"Shush, Ian. They've been here for three days, stop giving away all my secrets." I toyed. Ian put his hands over his mouth as though he genuinely believed me and I couldn't help but laugh more.

I stood up with the help of Kurama, nearly smacking into him as I did so. The six of us went inside, many voices jabbering to one another as we did. Yusuke and Kuwabara headed up the staircase, presumably to shower, while the rest of us dispersed throughout the main floor. Kurama found his way back into the library. I watched him vanish behind the door and turned towards the kitchen. Ian was there, leaning against the bar and watching Evan, who'd come downstairs for a drink.

"You don't have to be so shy, you know." I smirked at him.

"I don't want to be a part of whatever Koenma's doing, Oz." Evan set his glass down, glancing over at Ian. The boy seemed to get the picture and ran out the door to play video games with Alex.

"Evan, I don't know how long they'll be here. Besides," I picked up his glass and took a drink from it myself. "They're not that bad. You'd get along with the short one." I imagined my brother and Hiei, sitting in opposite trees not saying a word to anyone. _Sounds about right._

Evan took his glass, refilled it, and left the kitchen. I frowned. Evan was too difficult for his own good. I turned towards the stove and turned it on. The refrigerator door swung open and I removed several things from it. When I turned around I nearly jumped out of my skin. Hiei was standing there, watching me.

"Foolish girl." He spoke more to himself than to me.

"Hello to you too, Hiei." I smiled at him. He glared back. I laughed internally at him for being so much like Evan. He said nothing, so I continued my endeavors. He watched me carefully, as though critiquing my movements. I stood in front of him, slicing a pepper. I eyed him curiously.

"You haven't shown your face in some time." I blinked at him. He continued to stare. "Why are you in here if not for conversation, Hiei?"

He looked down from my face to the contents of the counter. I knew he wanted to eat, but his pride wouldn't allow him to ask for anything.

"It'll be done at seven." I rolled my eyes at him. He continued to stare for a few moments before dissipating. I turned back to the food across the table.

Everyone was laughing before anyone even sat down. Yusuke and Kuwabara bickered through it, but Ian and Alex were impossible to quiet. I didn't say much but smiled to myself. Across the table, Kurama chuckled quietly. Evan and Hiei were nowhere to be found, but I'd noticed them each take their food and vanish to somewhere else in the house.

"Shut up, Urameshi! It's not my fault! My belt loop broke!" Kuwabara shouted at Yusuke. I ate quietly, and soon the two boys became silent as they filled their stomachs. The table fell nearly silent, if it weren't for the clatter of silverware.

"So, how do you guys know Koenma?" Yusuke said through a mouth full of food. I shrugged.

"I used to work for him. Did some inside work, following people around. I quit a little over a year ago." I continued to eat, ignoring the pounding of my heart in my ears and the pain it brought with it. Yusuke looked at me oddly.

"Quit? You can do that?" He raised an eyebrow at me, pausing from his food. I said nothing and the detective looked around the table.

"Nice try, but you have to have a replacement before you can just quit." Alex laughed, leaning back in his chair.

"Oh..." Yusuke looked disappointed, but nonetheless kept eating. The table finished eating almost all at once and everyone dispersed throughout the house. I took the dishes into the kitchen to be cleaned. The sun outside sent golden rays across the wide yard, displaying the vibrant colors of the spring. I frowned, somehow feeling as though something were missing. I put the last plates where they belonged and stood at the window, looking out. I suddenly felt very nervous.

"Hello." My heart nearly leapt in surprise at the sound of his voice. Kurama chuckled and came to stand beside me, his hands in his pockets.

"Hello, Kurama." I looked back out the window, the uneasy feeling continuing to creep up on me. "Am I the only one who feels like something isn't right?" I watched a large bird doing acrobat tricks in the air, wondering to myself what it was like to fly.

"No, I suppose not." Kurama offered. He, too, was watching the bird. He was quiet for a moment.

"Oz, you said that seven people lived here at once." Kurama asked without asking. I frowned.

"I'd hoped that detail would have slipped everyone's mind." I retorted. My three brothers and I, in addition to our parents, only made six. Kurama was clever, another detail I'd overlooked when meeting him.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. It's just a detail that failed to slip mine." Kurama smiled back at me. I half-smiled at him, wondering why in the hell this kid was so polite to everyone.

"We don't talk much about it. Maybe one day you'll know." I shrugged. I highly doubted it- Kurama and his friends would be gone soon, though they'd only been there three days. Once they left, I'd never hear from them again and it would be no problem. A sudden wave of sadness smacked me at the thought of my new friends leaving, but I shrugged it away. It wasn't like I wasn't used to that anyway.

"Do you think he'll find you here?" I walked away from him, towards the bar. He followed, sitting on the stool and leaning on the counter top.

"I can't say for sure." Kurama continued looking out the window. I leaned against the refrigerator, thoughtful.

The night sky came upon us, and soon I found myself alone in the living room. Kurama was still outside in the garden, which surprised me very little. I walked up stairs and peered into Ian's room- he was fast asleep. I shut the door and walked into my room, which had a gorgeous view over the garden. Kurama sat on the bench under the tree where I could barely see him, but it was apparent to me that he was reading, even in the dark. I closed the curtains, making my way to the bed. I lay down, feeling exhausted. My eyes closed and suddenly I was drifting to sleep.

* * *

><p>I was woken violently very early in the morning. The sun was still sleeping and the room was spinning. I jumped up, making my way towards the door. I fell before I reached it and found I was unable to get up without falling right back over. I grabbed my head, clenching it in my hand and trying desperately to make the dizziness go away. I stood, grabbing furniture on my way to the door. I clung to the walls like moss, half crawling towards Ian's room. I shoved the door open and found Ian laying on the floor, out cold. I grabbed onto him, but couldn't get up off the floor. He opened his eyes and I pulled him into my lap. The room kept spinning and I heard Evan yelling from the hallway, but couldn't hear what he was saying. I saw his blurry figure in the doorway and he rushed over to us. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, and it was over.<p>

"Oz!" Evan yelled. I opened my eyes. I was sitting in Ian's room, holding him still. Evan pulled me to my feet and Ian followed us down the stairs. Everyone else was there, too.

"What the hell was that?" Alex turned to us as we came down the last few steps. "This shit just ain't right." Nobody said anything. I was glad not to be the only person who felt the sensation. My arms and legs felt heavy and I sat on the couch trying to regain my composure. A headache started to come on to me. Outside, thunder had began to crack, whipping streaks of lightning across the night sky. I felt nauseous and held my head. I peered through the cracks in my hand. The walls of the house seemed to shift in every direction, and had begun to melt like wax dripping from a candle. I rose to my feet and noticed that behind the walls, darkness surrounded the room. I felt panicky, grabbing onto Ian to keep him safe. Thunder roared again and the entire group was on their feet as well, gaping at the darkness. The floor melted under our feet, yet we did not move. We were surrounded by the dark, standing on the dark, seeing nothing. I felt Ian grab the hem of my shirt for dear life. I bent down and pulled him as close to me as I could. Before I could assure him that we would be okay, I felt my body plummeting downwards, taking Ian with me.


	4. Wounded

My body landed hard on the ground and I opened my eyes. Ian was no longer in my arms, and I didn't see him anywhere near me. I didn't see _anyone_ near me. I was in the middle of a corn field, fog settling over it. I stood up and started walking. _Inoshishi is a Dream Weaver… How did I not know? _My heart pounded at the thought. I wondered what was happening at the real house, where all our bodies were fast asleep and vulnerable. _He has to be here, it's _his_ dream. _I pushed through the fog. In the distance, I saw the outline of a person standing. I tossed the idea of investigating around in my head. I decided to go look- if it was a friend, I wanted to catch up with them. I walked towards it cautiously, but they never moved. When I was close enough to see it, I stopped and stared. It was a scarecrow. It was old and its head was hanging low. I approached it, touching the brim of its straw hat. The head rolled off, causing me to jump. I felt sick upon realizing that it was a human head that had been stuck on the post. A rumbling noise in the distance caught my attention. I looked around for it, but the fog was too dense to see anything. I picked a direction and walked, keeping on my toes.

* * *

><p>Kurama kept his back towards the abandoned building, working his way around its perimeter. It was surrounded by a corn field in every direction, a thick fog rolling over it. He stepped lightly and decided to venture out into the fog. A rumbling sound came from within the building and Kurama turned to face it, preparing for an attack. Something moved in the doorway and he found himself face to face with a large, metallic creature. It roared and he removed the rose from his hair, conjuring his whip.<p>

"Kurama!" He heard someone shout behind him. He didn't turn to look, not daring to put his back to the beast. Footsteps ran towards him and soon he saw it was Alex by his side. Alex reached back, retrieving two daggers from his sides. The metallic beast reared back, flapping its large bat-like wings and pushing the wind at them, nearly knocking them off their feet.

* * *

><p>Evan pushed himself up off the ground, studying the surrounding area. He could barely see through the dense fog, but the laughter that erupted from behind him chilled his bones. A woman stood, her hands on her hips. Blue hair cascaded down her back and her mismatched eyes bore into him. Evan ground his teeth, his jaw tightening.<p>

"Well hello there, sweetie. Long time no see." The girl laughed loudly.

"I should have known you'd have something to do with this, Lotus." Evan growled at her, preparing himself for a fight.

"Oh, Evan. How beautiful that anger of yours. What's the matter, miss your baby brother?" Lotus laughed once more, her eyes sparkling with delight. Evan continued to glare back at her, saying nothing. She opened her hands, revealing the bladed fans in them.

"How's the family?" Lotus smirked, springing into the air. Evan evaded her attack with his own, and soon they became a blur in the fog.

* * *

><p>I coughed, trying to get the fog out of my lungs. I'd come up on a large building and heard sound on the other side. I made my way around it slowly, stepping carefully around debris that had been left unattended to. I saw a flash of red hair for only a moment. Panic hit me and I ran towards it. Kurama was there, a large gash across his stomach bleeding profusely. He was clearly in pain, but kept fighting anyway. On the other side of him, a large silver monster reared back on its hind legs. Alex lay a few feet away, clearly unconscious. Kurama stumbled, falling onto his knees.<p>

"Kurama, stop!" I caught him before he tried to move forward.

"Mouth." Kurama mumbled. I looked up at the beast as it roared again. The inside of its mouth was pink and fleshy. The realization hit me.

"Kurama, you're a genius!" I shrieked. The beast shot flames at us, but we dodged quickly. Kurama cringed, the wound on his stomach dropping blood further onto him. "Don't you dare die on me!" I yelled at him. Kurama smiled through the pain, but I could tell it was too much for him. The beast reared back, preparing to attack. I covered my head, but the beast yelled in pain. I looked up, finding the beast dying on the ground. Hiei stood in front of us, pulling the sword from the beast's mouth. He flicked the blood off of it, approaching us. A clearly angered expression was painted across his face.

"You fools are going to get yourself killed." He scowled at us. He helped Kurama to his feet and I ran over to Alex. He was out cold, but still alive. I sighed in relief.

"Hey, guys!" I spun around, seeing Yusuke running towards us with Kuwabara in tow. "What's going on here?" Yusuke had a gash on his cheek; Kuwabara was cradling his arm.

"What happened to you?" I questioned. Yusuke noticed Alex and lifted him over his shoulder.

"Ran into a nasty minotaur. Managed to get his head off, though." Yusuke looked at the metal monster, a puzzled expression on his face. "Somebody wanna explain this shit to me?"

"Your demon friend is a Dream Weaver. We're stuck in one of his nightmares." I found myself looking at the wound on Kurama's stomach. "That's going to hurt tomorrow."

Yusuke shrugged. "It's just a dream, right?" I shook my head.

"Technically, but no. Whatever happens here is just as real as if it were life. When we wake up at home, our wounds will still be there." I swallowed hard, hoping that Kurama's wounds wouldn't turn fatal. I looked away before I made myself sick.

"Where's Evan and Ian?" I looked around, seeing nothing but a vast expanse of empty corn field, smothered by fog.


	5. Fields of Forever

Evan held his arm at the eblow, cursing to himself for his carelessness.

"I didn't know you were so susceptible at becoming someone's pet, Lotus." He smirked at her, egging her on as much as he could. Lotus was kneeling, a scratch on her forehead bleeding almost directly into her eye. She wiped it away and clambered to her feet, catching her breath. She shakily lifted her fan, shielding the lower half of her face with it. Evan stood, dragging his sword with him. He lifted it. It felt like it weighed a ton as Evan swung it towards the thin female. Lotus barely flipped over the blade and sent her fan hurling in Evan's direction. He dropped, the fan flying over his head.

"You silly boy!" Lotus laughed to herself. "I am no one's pet. I am the master!" Lotus's fan swiveled in the air like a boomerang and found its way back into her hand. Evan stood up, trying to concoct a way to destroy his adversary. Something moved in the distance behind her and Evan's eyes displayed the panic. Ian had stumbled upon their fight, fear in his eyes at the sight of the woman. He stayed back in the distance, but close enough to watch. Evan found new glory at the sight of his young brother and stood tall. Lotus scoffed and threw the blade again. This time, she ran at Evan in full sprint. She threw a kick at his stomach, missing by an inch as he jumped back from her.

"Where is Inoshishi?" Evan's eyes darted around for only a moment before returning to Lotus's face.

"Now, Evan, what's the fun in telling you all the secrets?" Lotus laughed. "He is here. But where, oh where could he be?" She taunted him, her fan flying back into her hand.

* * *

><p>We walked away from the building, keeping together in a tight huddle. Alex had come to and was walking by my side, limping as he did so. Hiei was on the other side of me, bored yet attentive. It was miraculous how he seemed to show up at the best of times. I couldn't help but wonder where my brothers were; a pang of worry kept hitting me in the chest. I ignored it, trying to keep myself aware of the things around me. Yusuke was helping Kurama along, though the red haired man was losing blood at an alarming rate with nothing to stop it. He'd removed his shirt and was now using it to cover the wound on his stomach, and I wont lie- I stared. I found myself blushing though and found that corn had suddenly become very interesting. Hiei must have seen me because he rolled his eyes in my direction before stalking off. We stopped, needing a break. Frustration hit me like a freight train.<p>

"This field goes on forever. We wont be able to find them if he doesn't want us to." I sighed, sitting down on the hard ground. I watched Kurama tend to his own wounds, checking them over carefully with heavy eyes. I felt bad for him, worried, and hoped we could get out soon so we could get him fixed up.

"There's gotta be somethin' we can do." Kuwabara kept on his feet, looking in every direction. The only thing as far as we could see was more fields of corn, but the man kept himself positive enough for all of us. Nobody responded because nobody knew rather he was right or not; even if there was something we could do, nobody knew what it was. Thunder clapped above us, though there was no lightning or even a cloud to be seen. Goosebumps climbed up my back and I jumped to my feet, suddenly self-conscious and nervous. Yusuke had stood, too. We looked at one another upon hearing another loud crash.

"Looking for me?" A deep voice rolled from behind us. I turned around, as did Yusuke. The man was very tall and built, looking like a bull in the field of corn. It was literal, as curved horns protruded from his temples.

"Inoshishi." Yusuke growled, balling up his fists. Inoshishi laughed loudly, a roar of thunder rolling over us.

"You thought you could hide from me." A twinkle lit up like a Christmas tree in his eye. "What's the matter, afraid to die?" He laughed again.

Yusuke faced him and Kuwabara and Alex stepped up next to him. Hiei approached from where he'd been a short distance off. From my spot on the ground, I looked up at them. I decided to stay where I was, in case something happened and Kurama needed me- I could always join the fight later. Inoshishi's energy had begun to flare, a red glow surrounding his body. Hiei drew his sword and the four of them pulled their energy as well. I scooted back and helped Kurama to his feet. We stood a short distance away, but Kurama fell to his knees holding his stomach.

"Kurama, you have to take it easy. We don't need you dying in here." I kneeled beside him, my hand on his shoulder. He wasn't looking at me, but rather his friends. I looked too, and for the first time since I'd met them, I wasn't sure rather they were going to win this battle.

* * *

><p>Evan panted. He was on his knees, hands in the dirt. He let out a ferocious scream and pounded one fist on the ground hard enough to break a chunk from it. Ian ran towards him and skidded in the dirt. He didn't say anything. Evan clammered to his feet and stared down at the young boy.<p>

"She got away, didn't she?" Ian asked with full innocence. Evan's eyes softened and he nodded.

"We need to find the others." Evan looked around. "This way." He walked in a direction neither of them had come from, leaving an empty, ruined plot of ground behind them.

"Do you think we can find everyone else?" Ian looked up at his brother. Evan's facial expression was hard and unforgiving, full of anger. He said nothing to Ian, but kept walking. The little boy did the same.

Only a short distance was covered when the two came up over a hill. At the bottom, they saw the figures on the ground. Bright red hair and what Evan knew to be Oz stood back a few yards away from a large fight. Blurs of colors collided with one another. In between punches Evan could make out the shapes of the others fighting a man with bull horns.

"Ian, go that way and join Oz." Evan nodded at the two sitters. Ian obeyed, going out of his way to avoid being seen by Inoshishi. Evan started down the hill, drawing his sword as he did.

I stood, stunned, watching the vicious attack. I couldn't tell rather the boys had the upper hand.

"Ozelia!" I heard a childish voice behind me. Both Kurama and I looked to find Ian coming towards us. I stood, rushing to him and scooped him up in my arms, glad to find him safe. A loud roar of thunder crackled overhead, sending me more goosebumps. I sat Ian down, pushing him back behind me.

"Enough!" A powerful voice echoed across the plain. The five men came to a standstill; Inoshishi backed away with a mischievous grin on his face. A whip of thunder lit up the sky and a figure appeared beside him. It was a woman with mismatched eyes and long blue hair. My heart leapt into my throat.

"Lotus…" I whispered, my lips quivering. Hatred boiled inside me and I wanted nothing more than to make her suffer.

Lotus grabbed the horn on Inoshishi's head, forcing him to the ground. She opened her fan and skimmed it across his throat, spilling his blood into the dirt. He gargled on it for a moment, betrayal in his dark eyes. Lotus retracted her fan and stood her ground.

"You will pay, team Urameshi, for making me look like a fool." Lotus glared at each of us, the boys preparing for another battle. "And you," Her eyes locked on mine. "Silly little Swift family. How dare you meddle in my endeavors. Didn't you learn the first time?" She laughed, hands on her hips. "The battle may be yours, but the war will be mine." A thunderous roar spread over us, darkness consuming our surroundings. I felt myself falling again, the image of Lotus pulling further and further away until darkness consumed me.


	6. Asthenia

My eyes fluttered open, the blinding lights over my head piercing into my retinas. I shielded my eyes with my hand, squinting. There was a pain in my side and I immediately regretted the decision to move. I grunted, sitting up. I was laying in my bed as though nothing had happened. Standing up, I found myself nearly running into the hallway, which was empty, and down the steps.

Everyone else had already beat me. Angry expressions fell upon many faces. Yusuke and Evan were already have some sort of standoff; Ian was hiding behind Alex, who was trying to comfort him. Hiei was standing away from the group, as he tended to, and Kuwabara and Kurama appeared to be trying to prevent a fight.

"Don't feed me that bullshit, Evan!" Yusuke yelled accusingly. Evan looked as though he were about to punch the detective in the jaw. "She knew who you were! Fuckin' sit here and tell me you don't know who she is? Bullshit!" Yusuke's dark brown eyes dripped with anger. I sank into the room as inconspicuously as possible, noticed only by Hiei and Kurama. I felt guilty- their lives were in danger because of us. Why Lotus had been working with Naku was beyond me, but it was purely coincidental that we happened to know her.

"Stop this." I spoke up. Neither of the boys faltered from their glares. I stood next to Kurama. "Evan, their lives are at stake here. You cant just lie to them." Evan shot a look at me. He'd always been the secretive one. I could only imagine why he had that way of thinking. It was as though if anyone knew anything, it would ruin our lives. It just wasn't so. I shook my head and looked at the red haired man beside me. I trusted Kurama, he was my friend. I trusted Yusuke, and Kuwabara, and Hiei, too. There was no reason not to explain to them why we'd been singled out. But for some reason, I could muster up the words to make the sentences that needed to be said. Instead, I looked to Alex for an answer. He didn't seem to notice me, or didn't want to.

"We need to know what we're up against." Yusuke had calmed down, but his glare had not subsided. Evan said nothing but stared hardly at the detective. "She isn't going to let us get away that easily."

A frog crawled into my throat when Yusuke turned to look at me. His glare put on pause, he looked like an innocent child. He looked at me pleadingly. He was right-they needed to know and deserved to know. Evan wasn't going to tell them, and if any of the rest of us did he would feel betrayed. That was just the way Evan worked. I weighed the pros and cons of what would happen if I spoke.

"Evan," I started. He knew what I was going to say before even I did. He spun on his heel, retreating out the front door, which he slammed hard behind him. Yusuke turned fully around and sat on the couch, not as confrontational towards me. I sat down across from him, Kurama and Kuwabara also finding seats. Ian came over to me, crawling into my lap and laying his head against my collar bone. He was small, for an eleven year old. It was times like these when I worried about how fragile and vulnerable he was.

"You're right, Yusuke." I started. "Evan has a hard time with touchy subjects. There was seven of us when we were kids. Our parents died when Ian was a toddler, the rest of us were just kids. Anyway..." I looked around at everything. Anything that wasn't the faces of my attentive listeners. Alex stood behind the couch, listening, though he knew the story all too well. "We had another brother named Stephan. He was in between Evan and Alex. He died." I frowned. "Sorry, I'm not a great storyteller." I nearly laughed if it weren't for the subject at hand. "Lotus was the last case I worked on with Koenma. She found out I'd gathered information about her and as revenge, she decided she was going to kill my family. She got Stephan, but the rest of us were much more lucky." I stopped speaking, finally looking at the others. Yusuke and Kuwabara looked sympathetic, unsure of how they should respond. Hiei paid little attention, though that was to be expected from him anyway. Kurama's expression was of ease, as though he were in deep thought. He sat back in his chair expectantly, patiently.

"That's pretty much what it amounts too." Alex finished, leaning against the wall behind the others. No one spoke for a while.

"I'm sorry..." Yusuke started, sadness in his eyes. Kuwabara agreed wholeheartedly. Kurama was quiet, but I knew that he would say something, if not now then later. I kept looking at him in the corners of my eyes.

"Things change, people die, you fall down. Sometimes you get back up and other times you don't. Life doesn't stop for anyone." I stated, looking at Ian, where he'd curled in my lap with tears in his eyes.

* * *

><p>There was a soft knock on the door. I cracked it open, rubbing my tired eyes. Kurama stood in the tiny space, an apologetic look on his face.<p>

"I'm sorry for waking you." He smiled faintly.

"Oh, I wasnt asleep." I moved to the side and let him into the room. It was illuminated by the moon outside and the small standing lamp in the corner beside my bed. Kurama sat in the desk chair across from the bed. I sat there, my legs crossed. "I havent been able to sleep since the Dreams." Kurama knew exactly what I was talking about.

"I wanted to see how you were doing." Kurama explained. "You were very upset today." I stared at him for a moment.

"When Stephan died, everything fell apart, Kurama." Tears began to swell at the corner of my eyes, but I wiped them away with my fingertip. "Evan became so much more cold and distant. Ian is so much more afraid of the world, and I always feel like I'm going to mess something up and lose another brother." I stared at the pattern on my sheets. Kurama was watching me, his gaze melting my skin.

"You couldn't have done anything. You can't protect everyone at once." Kurama knew what to say- even knowing him for the short time that I have it was easy to tell. Kurama was the intelligent negotiator, the romanticist, the one who knew how to manipulate a person's feelings. It scared the shit out of me.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm going to totally lose it." I halfheartedly laughed, but tears still picked at my eyes. "I swear, Kurama. One day. Just one day, all at once." I exaggerated with my arms, waving them in a long stride over my head. "Boom!" Kurama chuckled.

"If you do happen to 'lose it,' let me know. I'll find it for you." He offered. It was a sweet gesture, really. _There's the romantic in you, Kurama._

"What if I explode?" I joked back, looking as innocent as possible.

"I suppose I'll have to find all the pieces and get some super glue, wont I?" He smiled at me. I couldnt help but smile back.

"You really are a good friend, Kurama. You already know that." I told him bluntly, a blush rising on my cheeks. He looked genuinely pleased.

"Thank you, Oz. I do my best." I chuckled at his faked narcissism. "I really should be leaving you to your rest. It's very late."

I shrugged. "I'm not that tired, but if you want to sleep, go for it. I'm thinking a late night walk will do good for me." Kurama contemplated for a moment.

"I suppose I could keep you company, if you dont mind."

"Playing bodyguard now?" We shared a small laugh. I slipped my shoes on, Kurama waiting patiently for me. A hoodie slid over my head and we made our way down stairs. I passed the living room and noticed Evan sitting very still on the couch, staring at the muted television. I paused Kurama, who waited for me in the kitchen.

"Evan?" I stepped into the room, bathing in light. Evan looked up at me.

"Shouldnt you be sleeping?" His voice was hard and full of betrayal. Pain hit my chest.

"I... I'm going for a walk. In the woods."

"It's dark out there, Oz."

"Kurama is going with me."

Evan said nothing, a sour look plastered on his face. My heart shrank a little as I turned and fled the living room, rejoining Kurama. We stepped outside, hit by the cool spring air. We walked towards the woods that was a little ways off the property.

"Are we friends?" I questioned suddenly. The thought had popped into my head and I wasnt sure of a definitive answer. The look on Kurama's face was a mixture of surprise and hurt.

"Of course. Why do you ask such a silly question?"

I bit my lip. I shouldnt care so much rather the fox demon was my friend- he'd be gone soon anyways. As soon as Koenma decided it was time for them to come home, I'd never see any of them again.

"There are things I want to say, but..." I didnt really know why I thought it needed to be clarifed. "It sounds silly now that I'm saying it aloud, and because it's being said to you, but I wanted to make sure rather you cared before I started talking." I laughed to myself. Of course Kurama cared about what I had to say and my life. I cared about his, too.

"Tell me, Kurama. What's your life about?" Kurama thought for a long moment.

"My mother is my source of motivation. I never intended for it to be that way, but that's how it is." Kurama and I walked down a dirt path that wove between the trees. It was wide enough we could walk side by side, but not big enough for a vehicle. The trees hid the moonlight from view and we were almost completely submerged in darkness.

"She must be wonderful." My heart ached, a vision of my own mother appearing in my head.

"She is." We walked in silence for a long time.

"I miss my mother. And Stephan." Tears started to leak. We stopped walking and Kurama waited for me to gather myself together. "I'm so afraid, Kurama."

The fox demon understood. He approached me, gathering me into his arms in a loving embrace. The

hug was a simple gesture, but I could feel his concern and sympathy surging throughout him. I lay my head on his chest, allowing him to hug me- it felt strange at first, but I like the idea that someone beyond my brothers cared and wanted me to be happy. It was one of those things Kurama did- I could always tell that he cared about his friends, even without needing to say anything. I heard the soft beating of his heart against his rib cage. His lungs contracted slightly with each breath, and for that one moment, I finally believed that I was going to be okay.


	7. The Burning Barn

Monday morning, the sun was shining high over the city. I found myself walking down the sidewalk towards the elementary school, Ian by my side humming cheerfully. I couldn't help but smile, feeling weightless with each step. Ian bounced with his as he walked. We reached the gate that opened up into the yard where several children were saying their goodbyes for the day. I knelt down, my hands on Ian's shoulders.

"Don't get in any trouble." Ian laughed, hugging me. He ran off at the sound of the bell. "I'll see you at home!" I called after him. He waved behind him and vanished into the door. Walking back down the street, I suddenly felt alone and vulnerable. I pulled my jacket tight around me, as though it were my skin holding all of my guts inside. I reached home just before rain began to pour, making it nearly impossible to see beyond the windows.

Inside, Alex, Kuwabara and Yusuke sat in the living room, playing cards at the coffee table. Hiei sat in the window sill, watching the rain come down over the house. I walked past the boys, who greeted me, and into the kitchen. Kurama was there, sitting at the bar with a glass of clear liquid I presumed to be water. He smiled at me as I entered the room.

"I cant see how that kid walks to school every day from here. It's like, four miles." I took a glass out of the cupboard and filled it.

"He's used to it, I suppose." Kurama offered, sipping from his cup. I sat down next to him.

"I guess." I drank too, and we were quiet for what felt like eternity. "Anything from Koenma?"

Kurama smiled sadly and I suddenly felt a pang of sadness. "Not yet, but soon." Relief swept over me and I playfully smacked his shoulder.

"Don't do that!" I nearly shrieked. Kurama chuckled at me and put his glass into the sink. I heard the wind rattle the windows and turned to look outside. The storm had gotten worse, if it were possible. Kurama looked too, calm as ever.

Beyond the window, just on the other side of a fence made of chicken wire sat a large barn. Or at least what was left of it. The eastern wall was completely gone, showing off the molten insides of the remaining structure. The roof was ready to cave in, pieces of the small building taken out of it, one of the doors about to fall off of the hinges. It was charcoal gray instead of vibrant read.

"Every time it storms, I cant help but look at it." I leaned my forehead on the window, feeling the air escape my lungs and fog the window. Kurama looked at it, too.

"There was a fire." He said. I could feel him looking at me from his place on my left, but I couldnt face him. He reached out and I felt the warmth of his hand clasp onto mine in a gesture of sympathy. I wanted badly to yank my hand away and yell at him, about how he didnt and couldnt understand. Kurama had lost no family, but I was all too aware of the stories i'd heard of Yoko.

"Stephan died there. None of us can manage to tear it down." I stared for the longest time at the barn, a constant memory flooding into my head.

_I sat at the kitchen table beside Stephan and Ian, making jokes to one another about silly things. Ian was coloring- he was a sweet kid, truly. Evan came into the room, smiling._

"_I'm going to be outside for a while, call if you need anything." He put on his jacket. It was storming outside, though the sounds of the thunder calmed me. I closed my eyes, listening to the beautiful music._

"_I'll come with you." Stephan joined Evan and the two disappeared into the rain. An hour passed and I took Ian up the stairs to bed. I tucked him in, kissing his forehead. Down stairs, I ran into Alex as he was heading up the stairs. We heard a loud crashing noise outside and ran to check on our brothers. My heart shattered when I saw that the barn was ablaze. Alex and I ran outside, not bothering to put on shoes or jackets. A wall had come crashing down. We stood, helpess, watching. Evan was on his knees, burns and gashes covering his body. He was yelling at someone- someone who I'd known all too well. Lotus. The firey girl was my most recent case and had discovered my infiltration. I ran towards her, hatred built inside me. She fled before I had the chance to near her. I helped Evan to his feet and Alex joined us. I felt like my skin was on fire, my feet were hot and began to blister. I looked around the barn and found Stephan, seemingly unconcious beneath a support beam. There was a large gash from the bottom of one eye, across his nose, and down to his jaw. I shoved the beam away and with Alex's help, we pulled him out of the barn. Stephan was dead before we got him outside._

_I cried like a baby._

"Oz..." Kurama started. He hadn't let go of my hand; quite the opposite, he squeezed it as though trying to pull my attention away from the barn. I turned, slowly and sat down at the counter.

"I'm fine, really." I murmured. My head had started to hurt. I looked at my watch. The minute hand slid past the o-five mark. "Ian should have been home by now." I frowned, but let it go. Kurama and I sat in the kitchen in silence for a decent amount of time. I couldn't help but find myself wondering why he still sat there with nothing left to say to me. Regardless, I did enjoy his company. We'd gotten close in that short amount of time, and I was glad to have a friend.

Time slipped by and Kurama and I had talked about very random things before we fell back into silence. Something kept prodding my mind. Kurama was my friend, but there was so little I really knew about him. So I asked. And he told. I felt bad for asking once he told me everything, or at least what he was willing to say to someone he barely knew. It was fair, though, since he knew so much about my life- he'd walked right into the middle of it, hadn't he?

"It's already five o'clock..." I murmured. "I'm going to go to the school and see what he's up to." I stood up, slipping on my shoes.

"Perhaps I should go with you." Kurama stood from his seat.

"It's alright, it isn't far." I put on my jacket and jumped out the door before he could argue. The chilly spring air had become nearly ice the way it did in the winter. My footsteps crunched the grass as I walked, hands in my pockets for warmth. There were very few people outside once I reached the city. I went up to the door of the school, but it was locked tight and all the lights were long since out. I felt panic consume me, but told myself he must have stopped along the way. I stopped by the nearest cafe, but no one had seen him. The video game store, the arcade- no one had seen him. Fear swelled into my heart and I immediately started cursing at myself. _You should have been there to pick him up from school..._ I sprinted the entire rest of the way home, my breaths becoming short with the cold air and my calves burning. My momentum was too fast to stop, so I crashed into the front door, sending it flying open. Many eyes turned to me with my dramatic appearance. My own eyes locked immediately onto Evan.

"I can't find Ian." I swallowed hard. I saw the panic and anger in Evan's eyes. Alex rose to his feet and took long strides, reaching me in three steps. "I... I'm going to go look for him..." Without another word, I ran back out the door, Alex hot on my heels without grabbing his jacket.

Alex and I made our way across almost the entire city before taking a break. We sat down at a park bench, catching our breaths and thinking of what places we hadn't checked.

"Oz," Alex said softly, looking at me. He didn't continue, but stared at me with an apologetic look. He wrapped one arm around my shoulders and pulled me towards him, engulfing me in his hug. "We'll find him." He reassured me, but there was an unease in his voice I just couldn't shake.

"Will you?" A deep voice echoed behind us. We both jumped to our feet, Alex drawing a dagger from nowhere. The man was tall and slim, with slicked back hair and a small goatee. He looked like satan himself. I growled at him.

"Where is my brother?" Alex's voice pierced into my skin; it was full of malice I'd never heard before.

"Ah-ah." The demon wagged his finger at us like we were children. "Patience. He is safe, for now." A gold glimmer in his eye made me sick. "Tomorrow night, we will meet with you. Your brother will be at the warehouse on 37th street. One of you may come, and the detective. Give him to us, and your brother will be untouched." The demon grinned. I ground my teeth, bitting my tongue. I'd have killed him then if Ian hadn't been in danger. The demon fluttered away, leaving Alex and I very bitter.

I pushed the door open with every ounce of hatred I had. It slammed open and we were met by the faces of all our friends, waiting expectantly.

"He's being held captive. They want Yusuke." Alex clenched his fists. I ignored the entire room and went up to my own bedroom. The light of the moon cast shadows upon everything. I slid open the glass door and sat on the balcony, despite the harsh cold. I curled into one of the two chairs, pulling my body close together for warmth. What seemed like forever went by before I heard the footsteps gently making their way across my floor. The door slid open and someone tall, wearing jeans and a blue button up shirt stood next to me. I hadnt realized until it was already happening that he had a blanket in his hands, which he wrapped around my shoulders before taking a seat. I smiled slightly at his chivalry.

"You really outdo yourself, Kurama." I pulled the blanket tight, staring up at the waxing moon. Kurama didn't speak. I guess neither of us was really in the mood to. Kurama was the type of person who just knew when the best thing to say was nothing at all. He had his way with words. My face got hot and I knew there was blush on my cheeks. I turned away, trying to hide it. Kurama caught me anyway and chuckled. I stuck my tongue out at him, which made me laugh too.

"Kurama," I pretended to be interested in the stars as not to look at his face. "How in the world are you single?" I laughed, and he did too. He believed it was a joke, but for some reason I really did want to know. "Really!" I coughed out in the middle of the laughter. "Yusuke and Kuwabara even have someone, for crying out loud. They talk about it all the time!" I shook my head. Kurama had resolved to a smile and I could feel his eyes on me.

"I live a dangerous lifestyle, I suppose." Kurama answered truthfully. I blushed again. He was honest, too. "I wouldn't want to put anyone in that danger." Kurama leaned forward on his elbows, looking over at me. He looked puzzled for a moment, but turned to look at the moon.

"I had a boyfriend, once." I bit my lip. He wasn't supposed to know that. No one was. _Shut up!_ Kurama looked genuinely interested. My dignity: 0. Kurama: 3. _Shut up shut up shut up! _ My mouth wouldnt stop. "Big mistake." I laughed. "I'm sorry. It's not something you'd be interested in." I knew I was wrong before I even said it.

"I disagree. I find you very interesting. Please, tell me more." I swore I saw a twinkle in his eye as he looked over at me.

"I, uh... His name was Azrael. He was kind of a jerk, I guess." Lie. He was a _super _jerk. "He was one of Alex's friends when we met. He was cute and a trouble maker and that was cool. It was stupid, what it was." I frowned at the memory. I saw Azrael in my mind- typical scumbag. "He called me names a few times. Wanted sex and never got it, so he was always pissed off at the world." _At me. _"We broke up because he punched me and wrecked his truck into a church wall while we were in it." Inexplicably, I started to laugh. Kurama looked at me strangely. "It wasn't funny when it happened. But now I just laugh at the fact that I stuck around that long. It's stupid." I felt sudden embarassment.

"You don't deserve that. You're wonderful." Kurama stated it like a statistic, like it was fact. I smiled back.

"Coming from a true gentleman." Kurama smiled that time. I curled up closer to myself, pulling the blanket around my shoulders. We sat in silence for about an hour before I found myself slowly drifting to sleep.


	8. In Waiting

It was four in the morning when I shifted in my spot. I sat up from where I'd been laying and waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. I blinked several times, trying to clear my vision. I was laying on my bed, covered by a blanket. For a moment I was confused, trying to remember how I must have gotten from the balcony to my bed. I smiled knowingly. _Kurama. _I knew that even in the darkness I was blushing. I felt suddenly sad. I was developing a tiny crush on him- which was very bad. He'd said himself that he would never be in a relationship, and he had a home somewhere else anyway. I pulled the blanket off of me and stumbled through the dark to my bathroom.

The light blinded me when I flicked the switch. I turned on the sink, washing icy water over my face. I turned off the sink and brushed my hair, pulling tangles out as I did. I winced with each stroke of the brush. The brush clattered on the counter and I turned the light off, deciding a drink was what I needed most. I wove through the darkness that was my home, down the curved steps into the kitchen. The low lights were already on and I found Alex standing by the sliding doors, looking out into the yard. He had a hard expression on his face.

"Hey." I approached him, standing by his side and setting my hand on his shoulder. He looked at me sadly.

"What are you doing up?" He murmured, his voice sounding grave.

"I could ask you the same thing." I tugged at his shirt. He sat down at the table as I got a glass of orange juice. I sat across from him and he was rubbing his face tiredly.

"Couldn't sleep. Not like this." His eyes were red and raw. I reached out, touching his hand. I took a drink and watched Alex. He kept staring out the window like he was waiting for something.

"Alex?" I tried to get his attention, but he was fixated.

"I can't lose more family, Oz." Alex finally looked at me sadly. He held my hand tightly and I smiled sadly at him. I understood his frustration and his pain. I struggled hard to find the right words.

"You won't." It was the only thing I could come up with. He wasn't convinced and didn't smile. He just stared at me with that sad look on his face.

"They'll pay for taking him." Alex let go of my hand, sitting back in his chair. He was grinding his teeth, eyes closed. "I'll make them suffer." I inched backwards subconsciously, becoming suddenly afraid of what my brother was capable of. I hadn't seen him fight in years, hell, I hadn't even fought in years. But I knew what he could do, and if it weren't for the fact that they'd kidnapped Ian, I might have felt bad for them.

"We'll destroy them." I stood up, took a glance out the window at the melted barn, and put my hand on his shoulder. With that, I made my way up the stairs and back into my bed.

My thoughts kept me awake late into the morning. The sun had risen by the time I felt tired enough to sleep, but the light was going to keep me awake anyways. Mechanically, and for no real reason with no real intentions, I made my way down the hallway to one of the many rooms and knocked. I heard a shuffling sound and the door creaked open. Kurama peered out at me, smiling. He was wearing blue pajama pants, but nothing else. His hair was neat and his eyes were bright, as though he'd already been up for several hours.

"Oh, hello." He opened the door more and I had to really try not to stare.

"Hey, I thought you might be the only one up." Liar. "Wanna go for a walk? I need to clear my head." Liar.

"Of course. Excuse me for a few minutes." Kurama opened the door and stepped aside, inviting me in. He shut the door behind us and made his way into the bathroom, also shutting that door. I sat on his bed and looked around. The room still looked a lot like it had before the team moved in. Kurama had put his clothes into the dresser, leaving an empty bag on top of it. The only real sign of his personal belongings were his shoes beside the door. The bathroom door opened and Kurama stepped out, now fully clothed, which I embarrassingly found myself disappointed in. I followed him through the house and out the front door.

"You need not be worried. I have an idea of how to rescue your brother. It is difficult and there are no guarantees, but it is something." Kurama walked beside me, and I felt as though if I were to fumble just a bit from the straight line, I would run right into him.

"Yeah," I agreed. "It's something." We walked in the opposite direction of town for several minutes, enjoying the rising sun and the beautiful nature. I could tell immediately that Kurama was in love with it. He stopped to touch plants that grew along the tree lines, the road side, and in the fields. We didn't walk towards any set destination, until I remembered the small lake that was hidden behind a row of trees. I worked my way there, Kurama trusting my path.

"So much for leaving soon." I laughed. The boys were supposed to have left nearly a week ago, but Koenma permitted them to stay longer when we realized that Lotus was involved. Until she was dead, they weren't going anywhere.

"Agreed. Not that I could complain." Kurama smiled at me as we made our way deeper into the woods. I stopped at the top of a slope that lead downwards towards the lake. Kurama paused, confusion on his face.

"Kurama?" The sun glinted off of his eyes as I looked at him. God, why did he have to be so attractive? "Thank you. For everything." I stepped closer to him and he was clearly surprised when I engulfed him in a hug. Nonetheless, he laughed and returned it. Part of me didn't want to let go, though I did. I knew there was no way anything would ever happen between us.

I sat down on the grass, close to the water's edge. I could see my sad looking reflection, and Kurama who came to sit next to me. We sat cross legged, staring at the beauty before us. I smiled, smelling the water, the plants and the peace around us. Kurama clearly enjoyed it too, but after a few moments, a sad look appeared on his face.

"I'm not sure how to have this conversation," Kurama said lightly. "I didn't think I'd ever have to." Worry filled my head with a number of ideas and illusions.

"That's okay. I'm not a good conversationalist either." I smiled back. He looked at me with a twinkle in his eye.

"I have feelings that I'm not sure how to deal with." He said slowly. My heart soared but I wasnt sure what it meant. He just looked at me as though he were unsure of what words were supposed to come next. "I'm not sure what they are right now." I knew what he was saying- the butterflies in my stomach confirmed it. "But I do know that they cannot be acted upon."

"I like you too." I blurted. Instant regret. I covered my mouth and stood, ready to flee in my embarrassment. But Kurama stood, grabbing my arm at the elbow.

"I apologize. I never meant to put you in an awkward situation." He looked down at me sadly. "However, it would be in the best interest of ourselves and everyone if we remain friends." It stung like a thousand needles right to the face. I nodded, unable to speak. I pulled my arm away gently and wove through the forest, leaving Kurama behind. He didn't try to follow me, but a few moments later I heard him carefully following, leaving a distance between us. My heart ached.


	9. You've Got a Friend in Me

Night fell shortly after I made it in the front door. Kurama shared his plan with the rest of us as we sat around the living room getting ready to go to the warehouse. I pulled my hair into a pony tail at the base of my neck, pushing the hair back from my face. I followed behind Hiei as we made our way down the sidewalk. The demon had specifically required it be Alex or I and Yusuke. We had other plans.

I walked slowly, keeping my distance from the rest of the group. Hiei walked just a few paces ahead of me behind the larger body. No one really spoke aside from Yusuke and Kuwabara. They whispered to one another as we made our way towards the street where the demon would be waiting for us. We didn't really expect him to give Ian back to us- not without a fight. Why would he?

The warehouse sat on a large lot that was otherwise empty. The grass around it was overgrown and dead, the sidewalk leading to its door cracked and tumbling over the dirt. We stopped behind a brick laundry mat, out of sight from anyone who may be watching. Yusuke looked to Kurama, who nodded at him. He and Alex turned the corner and disappeared, making their way towards the ominous looking building. I watched them walk away, my breaths shallow. I stood away from the others, only Hiei's face close enough that I could make out distinct features. He turned to look in my direction, the same mixture of boredom and annoyance on his face. I felt like he was peering into my soul, knowing my every emotion.

"Stop wallowing in your incessant self pity and _go up there_." He spat barely above his breath. I stared at him, contemplating rather that was his way of saying I should talk to Kurama. It wasn't as though I wasn't still his friend- right? I sighed to myself, looking past Hiei at the gentle silhouette I knew to be Kurama. Hiei scowled at me. "Don't think that by acknowledging you it _means_ anything. I couldn't care less what you pathetic romantics do with your lives." With that, he turned away from me and re-aimed his focus on the problem at hand. I straightened up, a small amount of energy boosting me. I slid past Hiei and stood between Kurama and Evan, watching the building.

"Now." Kurama said under his breath. I ran between the two men towards the building. A glint of black in my vision told me that Hiei had reached the rooftop and would be waiting. The three of us changed our path to the sides of the warehouse. We slowed down, walking through the ally with caution. There was some noise inside and we heard someone yell. Evan picked the lock on the door and we slid into the large, dark warehouse, full of forgotten machinery.

I kept in the shadows, edging around the wall until I could see the people standing there. Ian was there, being held onto by the large demon that I'd met in the park. Yusuke was tied to a chair beside them, and Alex stood across from them- he was doing the shouting. Then I saw her. Lotus grinned ear to ear, looking at him with joy. I felt my heart skip as I balled my fists. Several other demons stood around the room, watching. Alex threw a punch at her and it was our cue.

The others sprang into the room and were immediately preyed upon by the lesser demons. Alex's fist collided with Lotus's cheek and the two drew their weapons. I jumped on the back of the large demon that held onto Ian, driving a small energy spear into his heart. He let Ian go and fell over, his blood pooling at my feet. Adrenaline coursed through me as I grabbed my younger brother and virtually yanked him outside. Botan had finally made it there to take Ian home and I shoved him in her direction. They took off down the street and I watched momentarily until they disappeared into the darkness. As soon as they were gone, I turned on my heel and ran back into the Frey. A lizard demon unhinged his jaw and tried to bite my arm, but I threw a blast of energy at him, which he swallowed, causing him to explode from inside. A rumbling sound erupted from the direction I'd come in through and I bolted in the other direction, not wanting to meet whatever it was, and took out three more demons as I did. The floor shook and I spun on my heel to find that the ceiling and wall had started to collapse. Kuwabara had untied Yusuke and the two were pounding into a few other demons just below it.

"Yusuke!" I screamed as loud as I could over the sound of slicing flesh, screams of pain and splattering blood. The detective looked up just in time for the ceiling to cave over them. The dust filled the air and I felt my heart fill with grief, hoping they'd somehow made it out. Now was no time to stop and check- a large demon with goat horns sliced at me with long claws. I barely avoided it, twisting into the air. I landed almost on top of him, reaching out and grabbing him by the horns. I swung him and let go, sending him crashing into a hoard of others who were fighting Evan. I spun around and saw Yusuke and Kuwabara, beat up but not fallen. Relief swept over me as I sent a ball of energy into the face of a demon who rushed towards me. He flew into the ground, creating a rut in the concrete.

A terrible scream permeated the air, all other sound minimizing into nothing. My ears rang as I bolted towards the source. My calves burned, scorching and begging me to slow down. I slid across the concrete, stopping abruptly. Alex and Lotus pushed their weight against one another. Alex pushed his dagger hard, cutting into the flesh at Lotus's neck, yet not enough to make a severe wound. Lotus let out a dry laugh, forcing the tip of her spear towards Alex's abdomen. It penetrated if only a few inches, pushing upwards. A single, hard thrust and it would spike through his heart. I panicked, searching for a solution. I wanted to call out, to cheer him on and hope against everything I had in me that she would give an inch and Alex would cut her throat. My throat was as dry as sandpaper and no words would escape me. I watched helplessly, not bothering to notice that the only demons remaining were currently fighting the others.

Alex must have been the one to give an inch. In a matter of seconds, my heart was ripped from my body. Lotus's spear sliced through Alex like butter, the end jamming out through his back, dripping with red fluid. I was the one to scream next. The world stopped. Lotus laughed, pulling her spear back through Alex one more time to retrieve it. Without the pole holding him up, Alex collapsed.

"Two down, three to go!" Lotus laughed. I couldn't hear it. I couldn't hear anything but the high pitched, awful ringing in my ears. I blinked, washing tears over my eyes. I finally fell back into reality when sudden movement caused me to flinch. Evan was standing behind Lotus, his sword down at his side and his head hanging. Lotus stared with shock on her face, mouth agape. Blood poured from her throat and stomach. After several painful moments, she finally fell to her knees, and then face down on the cold concrete. I broke my silent stare and pain long enough to sprint to Alex's side, hoping that I could save him in time.

"Alex, time to get up!" I practically screamed in his ears. His body was flat against the floor. I attempted to roll him over and succeeded on getting him on his side. I saw his eyes, halfway closed like in a peaceful sleep. His chest didn't move with breaths, his eyes didn't open at my voice. I moved a piece of hair from his face, studying him. Tears clouded my vision and I heard the body of one last demon drop, and the footsteps of our companions approaching us. I looked up at Evan. He hadn't moved from his spot behind Lotus, his head still lowered.

"Evan?" My voice shook and I tried to see Evan's face beneath his hair. He didn't turn to look at me. I let go of Alex, inching away from him weakly. I shook my head, tears starting to drip down my face. _This isn't happening. He's fine. There's no way. He can't die..._I refused the inevitable, trying desperately to pull myself to my feet. A hand reached out and steadied me. I knew it was Kurama. I wanted desperately more than ever to shove him away and run home. Far away from everyone and everything that had just happened. But I couldn't move. It simply wasn't possible.

I felt my body being pulled, gently though, in one direction. I didn't fight it- as if it were even possible. I stopped moving, my left side pressed against a warm surface. I didn't bother to look. My eyes would not leave Alex's face, no matter how hard I tried to look somewhere, anywhere, else. I realized when arms wrapped around my shoulders that Kurama had pulled me towards him and was now hugging me. My gaze was finally broken when I turned my head, slowly, towards him. I lifted my arms, pushing against his shoulders with no real effort. I buried my face in the cloth of his blood stained shirt, a small voice in my head hoping the blood wasn't his. Nobody said anything. I let the tears go, glad that no one could see me and I couldn't see them. It felt like forever that I stood there before my body gave up and I slipped into unconciousness.


	10. Cemetery Drive

I opened my eyes slowly, allowing them to adjust to the darkness around me. I shifted slightly, feeling with my hand the surface I lay on. My tense body relaxed at the realization that I'd ended up once again in my own bed. I glanced sideways at the alarm clock on my table that brightly told me it was 4:42. I sat up slowly, trying to remember where I'd been before. My heart wrenched at the memory, my brother's figure sewn into the back of my mind. I choked on fresh tears for what felt like hours before getting the courage to stand up and walk to the bathroom.

Like so many previous nights, I was blinded by the bathroom light. My reflection gazed back at me with an empty look in the eyes. I washed my face with the coldest water I could muster up and climbed lazily into the shower. The steam filled the room and calmed me, yet somehow my shoulders were too tense for the muscles to relax. I kept my eyes closed, allowing the scalding water to wash over me.

I pulled my clothes on and sat on my head, pulling the brush through my tangled blonde hair. I set the brush on my table next to the clock and held my head in my hands. My body shook with tears for the third time. I pulled my legs in close, sitting in the fetal position with my head between my knees.

A soft knock on the door caused me to jump, though I had to force myself to cross the room. To my surprise, it was Yusuke at the door.

"Can I come in?" The detective's voice was light and airy, as though he'd been greiving too. I moved aside as he walked into the room, taking a seat on the end of my bed. For a long time, he didnt say anything. We looked at each other with a sad understanding, and I was glad to have met and befriended Yusuke. We hadnt interacted much in the time he stayed with my family, yet somehow it felt as though we were close friends. Yusuke was the type of person who could be anyone's friend.

"So..." Yusuke rubbed the back of his neck, clearly nervous. I sat down on the floor a few feet away, pulling at the tiny tendrils of carpet to distract myself. "How are..." He spoke quietly, trailing off. I looked up at him. He was looking back at me, a sad expression on his face. He clearly wanted to talk to me, but nerves or, something, kept him from saying anything.

"It's okay, Yusuke." I smiled faintly at him. Yusuke mustered up a smile, placing his hands in his lap.

"I'm really sorry, Oz." Yusuke's voice was soft, as though he were holding the words in his hands. His eyes were sad, despite the smile on his face. I couldn't help but smile back- it was really great to have friends.

"I know. Me too." I stood up and sat back down next to Yusuke. He wrapped a comforting arm around my shoulders and squeezed me in a friendly sideways hug. He didn't let go, which made me laugh. He smiled quirkily.

"Listen, Oz. Koenma sent us some tickets back to Japan. We're leaving in two days." Yusuke's smile faltered slightly, but not enough for me to believe he found that to be bad news. I couldn't help but feel like there was a catch. Yusuke reached into his pocket with the hand he wasn't squeezing me to death with and pulled out a handful of tickets. I looked at the portion of them that wasn't covered by his hand.

"Yusuke, there's five tickets there." I stared at them hard. Yusuke's smile grew. I shook my head. "I can't go with you..." _Why not?_ I bit my lip. _Because your brothers are here..._

"We-"

"Yusuke, my brothers are here. I can't leave them." Sadness filled my heart. I wanted so badly to go to Japan with my friends- only a couple of weeks into meeting them and they were all like family to me. As much as I knew I wanted to, I couldn't live without my brothers.

"I already talked to Evan. He thinks you need the break. Just for a while. You can come home as soon as you feel homesick." Yusuke was practically begging. His hand curled tightly around my shoulder. I stared at him for the longest time before a smile crept onto my face. I reached out and took the tickets from his hand. I read them over, not believing for a moment that they were real.

"In that case, how could I say no?" I smiled at Yusuke, but my heart felt incredibly empty. Two faces came across my mind at that moment. Alex- my dear brother whose funeral was taking place tomorrow. I missed him already and my heart was stinging from the pain. The other man was Kurama. I hadn't seen him since last night when he'd hugged me just before I blacked out.

* * *

><p>The wind was not blowing. The sun was overhead, beating down on us harshly. Birds did not sing. I sat in the grass with my legs tucked to my side, weaving a crown of flowers together. Ian sat cross-legged next to me. I spotted Evan, standing off to the side away from everyone else, hands in the pockets of his black slacks and looking down at the ground. Several other people were standing in the fenced in yard, most of them dressed in black, talking to one another about my brother. I spotted Hiei, standing next to Kurama who spoke to one of Alex's friends. I looked away, examining the assortment of people. My mother's sister made her way towards us. Ian's eyes sparkled and he nearly flew into her arms.<p>

"Aunt Kathryn!" Ian laughed as she wrapped him in a tight hug. She set him down softly and kneeled down to my eye level.

"Hey, sweetie." It killed me how much she looked and sounded like my mother. My heart wrenched again.

"Hey." I continued to weave together the small flowers.

"Little birdy told me you're taking a vacation." I looked up at her. I wanted so badly to tell her what really happened. _Alex was killed by a demon with a spear_. I tried so hard not to tell her everything. She'd never known that my mother married a demon. She never knew the life we'd all lived. It was a well-kept secret. As far as she knew, Alex was killed by accident. I sighed heavily and she frowned.

"I need it." I looked at her sadly. She was my favorite relative- the nicest, sweetest and most loving lady in the world. "First mom, then Stephan, now..." I trailed off, the faces of my family appearing in my mind. Kathryn patted my shoulder and walked away, leaving Ian and I alone. I stood up, taking Ian's hand. I noticed Kurama had made his way over to us. I smiled slightly at him.

"Hello, Oz." He set a hand on the same shoulder. I tried desperately to avoid his gaze.

"That was my Aunt Kathryn. She practically raised us after Mom died." I looked down at Ian, who looked up at me sadly. I squeezed his hand, the same way Yusuke did when he hugged me. Kurama was quiet for a moment, his eyes sad too. _I'm so tired of all the sad..._

"I'm truly sorry." Kurama moved his hand from my shoulder. Questions hung in his eyes.

"Car wreck." I choked. The image of her car was burned into the back of my mind. I had an entire mental photo album of things that destroyed me. There was a long silence between us. "Ian, why don't you go visit." I released his hand and he took off towards our group of relatives. I looked into Kurama's eyes. They were filled with empathy and something... Something else that I couldn't quite reach.

"Yusuke told us you're coming back to Japan for a while." Kurama looked right back at me, his eyes studying mine. I nodded, keeping my eyes focused on his.

"Yeah... I, uh..." Words refused to meet me. "I need a break. I, uh... You guys..." I tore my eyes away, looking down at my feet. I looked back up quickly. "You... I need you..." I swallowed hard. "My friends." I added quickly. Kurama's eyes darted between mine. I knew immediately that he noticed, but he didn't say anything. "I'm so sorry." I shook my head and turned, darting away from Kurama and trying to disappear in the crowd of black-clad people. I smoothed my hands over my knee length black dress, searching for someone to talk to. I looked over my shoulder. Kurama was where I left him, looking into the crowd, but not really searching. Unease fell heavy on my chest.

"Girl." I spun around and saw Hiei, annoyed and bored looking.

"Oh. Hi, Hiei." I waved slightly at him but he continued to glare. "It means a lot that you stuck around." I attempted to walk away, looking for a little more distraction. Hiei reached out and grabbed my elbow. I stopped and looked back at him.

"You really are a pathetic fool." Hiei spat, anger in his eyes.

"Hiei, I don't have time for you to criticize me. I'm _trying _to find someone..."

"I'm no idiot." I noticed the slight glow beneath his headband.

"Hiei, look. Whatever hateful advice you think you're going to give, I don't want to hear it. I'm in no mood for your attitude." I turned to walk away from him, but he reappeared directly in front of me.

"I'm not _doing _this for _you."_ Hiei's voice dripped with venom. I glanced over at Kurama, who had not moved from his spot. He stood, alone, people-watching.

"Come on, Hiei. Since when did _you _care about others' endeavors?"

"Maybe I don't." I stared at him disbelievingly. He scowled.

"There's nothing to say." I spat back, anger at the confrontation boiling.

"Fine. I don't care about your foolish _relationship. _Keep running away." With that, Hiei vanished. The confrontation annoyed me, though I knew he was right. I glanced over at Kurama, who was now talking half-heartily with one of my male cousins whose name escaped me. I sighed, but turned away. Now was not the time.


	11. Fly Away Home

I closed the car door behind me, breathing in the fresh air of the outside world after the two hour drive to the airport. Several doors and footsteps followed as I stretched out her legs. Evan handed me a dufflebag that contained my clothing and other assorted things. I lifted it over my shoulder and followed him inside the large glass doors, one of my hands clenched around my plane ticket, the other holding protectively onto Ian. The others followed, their own bags by their sides. The marquee read the times for flights and we found that our flight was boarding in just a few minutes. I turned around to face Evan and gave him a tight hug. He returned it solemnly.

"Don't get hurt out there..." Evan whispered in my ear. I nodded.

"I know." I said. I wasn't in the least bit concerned for myself- it was leaving them behind that I was worried for. Evan knew that. I bent down and pulled Ian into a tight embrace. "Take care of Evan, will ya?" I smiled down at him. He grinned back, nodding eagerly. I turned back to my friends and we made our way to the plane.

I sat down, staring out the window. It was no surprise to me that I was sitting next to Kurama. I tried to avoid his gaze as he put his things into the overhead carry-on. He sat down in the seat beside me, smiling. I didnt even try smiling back.

"Oz..." He mumbled at me. I felt the sadness I felt in my heart reflected in his voice and for a moment I wondered if he felt the same way I did. For a split second, I hoped that maybe someday it would change- that maybe, if I was so lucky, we could try to make something out of our awkward friendship. _You're crazy. You've only known him for like, a month..._ I shook my head, but I couldn't help but smile. _18 years old and falling head over hills like a middle school kid. _I finally brought up enough courage- or curiosity, or stupidity, or something like that- to look over at him. He was looking in the aisles, but noticed I had finally looked at him just as the plane began to take off.

"You've been very distant lately." His smile was very faint, but existent. I tried to think up an excuse, but Kurama was too intelligent for any clever ruse I could muster up.

"I know... I'm sorry." It was the only thing I could do- be honest. There wasn't any excuse that would be good enough. Kurama deserved better than lame excuses anyway.

"Don't be- it was my fault. I-"

"Kurama, you've never done anything wrong." At these words, he chuckled. _You know how wrong you are about that. He's a criminal. Yet, the danger is such a big part of how attractive he is... _His laughter died and he looked at me as though analyzing my thoughts.

"I know I've hurt you." It came just above a whisper. It became obvious, if it wasn't already, that I wasn't the only person who'd been put in pain by the situation.

"I, uh..." My fingers fidgeted with one another for a moment, looking at them in my lap. I tried to say 'It's okay.' Yet all the same, I couldn't say the words. Maybe because it wasn't okay.

"I don't want us to be avoiding each other. I like you. You're a good friend. I don't wanna lose that." I looked back up at him, a sudden lack of air coming on. He studied me for a moment, but nodded.

"Believe me when I say I understand." I couldn't help but find myself smiling. I turned away from him, not harshly, but simply to look out the window.

I sat in that seat for what felt like forever. Over the course of that great time, I found myself doing many tasks just to make the time pass: I watched things move beyond the window, read half of my book, engaged in conversation. The sky was dark when I realized that I was very tired. Kurama was reading a book next to me and I peeked at the pages over his shoulder.

_a dream - making a vain attempt, because no relation of a dream can convey the dream-sensation, that commingling of absurdity, surprise, and bewilderment in a tremor of struggling revolt, that notion of being captured by the incredible which is of the very essence of dreams. . ._

"Heart of Darkness?" I turned my head to look at Kurama. He smiled at me and ndded. He'd taken that book- and several others- from the library in our home. I had too- I remembered searching for Heart of Darkness in the library and being disappointed that it was missing. I hadn't realized Kurama already took it. I sat back in my chair, watching Kurama read. Something about it was interesting enough that I couldn't look away. I yawned, covering my mouth with my hand. I sat back, staring up at the button-covered ceiling. My eyes drifted shut and I listened to the sounds of the plane. Before I knew it, I drifted to sleep.

* * *

><p>Kurama paused at the end of a sentence, looking over at Oz. She'd fallen asleep, her eyes closed peacefully. He couldnt help but smile at her as her body leaned towards him. He rested the book down on his leg, keeping it open to the spot he'd left off. He gently reached over to her and tugged on her just enough that she leaned into him, her head on his shoulder. Kurama blushed, knowing full well that when she awoke she would apologize yet he couldnt help himself. He picked the book back up and kept reading, weary of the girl on his shoulder.<p>

Darkness overtook the air around the plane and many passengers were fast asleep. Kurama, having finished Heart of Darkness, found that he could not manage to fall asleep. He was amazed that the girl beside him had managed to be for so long. All the same, Kurama remembered that the girl had lost one of her older brothers and probably hadn't slept much recently. He hadn't moved from his spot in hours. A flight attendant was walking down the aisle, giving drinks and pillows to the sleepy passengers. In front of him, he could see Yusuke snoring and Kuwabara leaning against the window. The flight attendant paused next to him. She glanced at Oz and then at Kurama, a smile on her face. Kurama felt himself blush.

"She's pretty. You must be lucky." She held out a bottle of clear liquid Kurama assumed was water, which he took graciously. He didn't bother to correct her- In fact, he didn't mind in the slightest. It was a feeling he wished for, but he knew deep down that when Oz woke up, it would vanish forever. His fantasy of being with her would disappear and they would return to their friendship. He felt a pang of sadness in knowing there was nothing he could do that would change it. No matter how much he wanted to call her his own, there was simply too much at risk. Instead, Kurama savored the long flight back to Japan, occasionally glancing at the beautiful girl sleeping on his shoulder.


	12. A Million Little Dangers

Kurama opened his eyes, the bright lights bringing a stinging sensation to them. He blinked and took in the sight of the plane. There were a few others who had woken up and were stretching, though the early morning had kept most people in their deep sleeps. Kurama, however, was fully awake, not quite remembering having fallen asleep in the first place. He shifted slightly and found a weight on his right shoulder. He looked over and saw that Oz was still leaning on him, though one of her hands had come up and wrapped itself around his arm at the elbow. Rather than move and wake her from her peaceful sleep- and probably the first she'd had in a long time- Kurama adjusted himself to sitting upright, an uncomfortable twinge in his neck. He gazed out the window, seeing his reflection in the glass. His green eyes sparkled, but beyond them he could easily tell that they'd made it into Japan and would be landing soon. He felt a slight wave of sadness in knowing that Oz would wake up soon.

* * *

><p>I opened my eyes, feeling rigid. My neck was stiff as I tried to swivel around and I realized I'd fallen sideways so that I was lying with my head in Kurama's shoulder. I felt heat rise to my face as I sat up straight, much more quickly than my body should have. The muscles and joints throughout my body protested and I stretched, the feeling returning to my legs. The plane had just landed and many other passengers were already on their feet to collect their things. Kurama smiled at me, though he was still sitting.<p>

"Did you sleep well?" He'd clearly been sleeping too and I wondered for a moment if he had been awake long enough to know I'd leaned on him.

"Uh, yeah." I looked out the window to see the glass building, the early morning sun bouncing off of it in every direction.

I stood up, my arms extended in front of me. I felt the muscles pulling in every direction at once, relief coming to them one at a time. Kurama stood, too, gathering his things from above us. He reached up once more and handed my own bag to me. I mumbled a thank you before following him off the plane.

Genkai's temple was extraordinary compared to how I'd imagined it. I walked around for nearly an hour, taking in the peaceful setting of it all. It was the most convenient place for me to stay while I visited Japan, as the others had family that they would otherwise have to explain me to. I enjoyed it anyway- the quiet serenity of the forest, the gentle touch of wind- so many things you could never find anywhere else. My room was small but fitting- it had a bed and a dresser with a lamp, which was homey and delightful in of itself. I sat down on my bed, carefully folding clothes together and arranging them in a particular order in the dresser. I felt eyes watching me from the doorway and felt much safer than on the plane.

"Hey, Botan." I didn't have to look to see the delight in seeing me on her eyes. The peppy girl swept me up in a tight hug. I hadn't seen her in weeks, possibly months, other than when she'd come to help us get Ian back to safety, and even that visit was short lived. Regardless, her cheerfulness never got old.

"Oh, Ozelia, I never thought we'd see you again, what with you living so far away and all that!" Botan's mouth moved a mile a minute as she spoke. I followed her outside as she continued talking and bombarding me with questions. I answered meekly and caught sight of the four boys standing outside, as well as a girl with shoulder length brown hair and wide eyes.

"Hi, you must be Oz. I'm Keiko." The girl introduced herself over the sounds of jabbering Botan and the two morons bickering at one another. I greeted her back, sidestepping Kuwabara as he crashed into the ground as a result of being hit by Yusuke. Keiko shot Yusuke a look, to which he huffed like a child. I watched them, their antics a clear evaluation of their obvious relationship, or whatever it was. _Still a more romantic story than what you've got._ I sighed to myself, suddenly feeling awkward around my own friends.

"Oh you boys must stay here tonight! You must be tired." Botan sparkled, practically begging for them to stay. Yusuke muttered under his breath, but Keiko stamped on his foot, instantly shutting the boy up. Kuwabara was excited enough, that is when the door slid open to reveal a young girl with sea foam colored hair. He ran to her faster than I'd ever seen him move before. Hiei didn't really care otherwise, not that he ever cared much for anything either way. Kurama was contently silent with a small agreeing smile on his face. I didn't look at him. It felt almost like I had some kind of grudge against him, though he'd never really done anything wrong. I felt bad for it, though at the same time I couldn't help but feel like I should be angry at him. I wasn't, not really. But part of me didn't want to be nice to him either.

I followed the others inside, watching them each go through the door while lagging behind. That is, of course, except for Kurama, who was too intelligent not to notice the distance I'd put between myself and everyone, him in particular.

"Are you alright?" Kurama walked next to me, the two of us taking slow steps towards the door. He paused, giving me a knowing look.

"If you know, why do you ask?" I raised my eyebrow at him, questioning his strange techniques. He merely laughed lightly and gazed down at me with large green eyes.

"Perhaps we should take a walk." Kurama offered. I shook my head.

"Not right now. I'm just stressed, that's all." _That, and looking at you makes me both angry and sad at the same time..._ I pushed the thought away, determined to have a good time with my friends.

"After you, then." Kurama gestured forward and followed me into the main room of the temple. The others were there, laying blankets on the soft floor in front of a very large television that Koenma had specifically given us, because, according to the others, Genkai doesn't watch television much on her own. Botan waved me over and I eagerly joined her. I saw Kurama avoid following me and sit near Hiei, set further away from the rest of the group yet close enough to still be part of it. Hiei scowled, leaning with his back to the wall, arms crossed and eyes closed. _Not much of a people-person._ I laughed in my head. Hiei opened one eye and used it to glare right at me. I spun around dramatically to face the television, a true happiness finally overtaking me. The screen lit up and Yusuke pushed a disk into the slot on the DVD player that connected to the television. I smiled at the notion that he'd chosen _Pulp Fiction, _making a mental note to later congratulate him on having good taste in films. I lay on my stomach next to Botan, eager. The scenes raced by much more quickly than I remembered, and I found myself speaking lines in time with the characters under my breath throughout the entirety of the movie. At one point, Yusuke heard me and snorted, but my punch to his thigh set him silent for the rest of it.

The movie ended at noon. I sat up, suddenly feeling hungry. I poked Botan in the shoulder and she whipped around to see me, a drink in her hand with the straw in her mouth. I didn't need to speak when she seemed to read my mind the way Hiei often did.

"Let's go get food, shall we?"She smiled at me through the straw and jumped to her feet the way only Botan could. I stood up, as did Keiko. I half-expected Kurama to stand too, but he appeared to be lost in his own world. Yusuke waved us off.

"You guys go ahead, I'm not going anywhere." Yusuke yawned, clearly still jet lagged from the flight.

"Oh goodie, a girls date then!" Botan grabbed my hand and led me towards the bedroom so we could get ready to leave, Keiko only a step behind. I changed out of my comfortable clothes into something more appealing and wound my hair into a long ponytail. I followed Botan out the door, watching her gallop down the steps. Keiko laughed from beside me as the two of us walked to meet her at the bottom.

"Lovely." Botan beamed, tugging at the sleeves of her yellow hooded jacket. We made our way into town, where the city streets bustled with life. Lunch time was apparent as we made our way towards a diner that Botan swore was the best in town. Luckily for us, it wasn't quite that busy yet and we'd found a table next to the window. I sat next to Keiko, Botan across from us in the red-velvet covered booth.

"So, Oz, what's it like in America?" Keiko sipped on a milkshake, eying me with curiosity.

"It's, uh.. Well, boring really." I shrugged. I'd never had to describe America to anyone before. The conversation changed topics about a thousand times before our food got there and I finally had an excuse to stop and think.

"Oz?" I blinked, looking up. Botan and Keiko were staring at me, clearly having been trying to get my attention for some time.

"Sorry." I half smiled before taking another bite of my food.

"We wanted to know if you had anyone back home. You know, like a boyfriend?" Keiko looked at me with an eyebrow raised. I looked from her to Botan, who had an equally intruding expression. I thought to myself for a moment before answering, contemplating rather it was safe to have this conversation with Botan, of all people, and a girl I'd known for three hours.

"No, no I don't." I looked down at my plate, suddenly feeling very full. The girls watched me silently, as though they knew something I'd yet to even express. "There's this one guy, I guess." Botan squealed. "But he lives here, not home." I felt them both edge closer to me and of course, being girls, they wanted to know every last detail.

"I met him at home, though. He, uh..." I paused. I didnt really want to tell them my life story, but my guts had already been spilled and there was no going back. "Came back with me." I refused to look at their eyes, but imagined they were something like wide and watery from not having blinked the entire time I'd been talking to them.

"One of the boys?" Botan spoke just above a whisper. It was the quietest I'd ever heard her speak.

"Uh... Yeah." Heat rose to my face. "But we can't really, um... Be together. Dangerous, you know.." I added quickly, hoping to divert their eagerness. I heard Botan huff and sit back in her seat. I looked at Keiko, whose expression was pure empathy. I suppose she knew better than even I did how risky it was to get involved. I studied her hard for a moment, realization coming upon me. _Her and Yusuke are sort of a thing, and that's dangerous too. So why can't I..._

My thoughts were cut short at the approach of another figure, standing next to me at the end of the table.


	13. Handsome

A tall, slender man stood at the end of the table, smiling down at the three of us. He was quite handsome, with black hair that framed his face and sparkling green eyes. He looked at me, a twinkle in his eyes. I looked back up at him, feeling awkward.

"Hello. I'm sorry, excuse me. I couldn't help but notice how pretty you are. You should be charging for that kind of thing." His voice was silky smooth as he spoke. I couldn't help but blush at the attention. He extended his hand, surprising us all. "I believe Americans use handshakes when they meet one another." I slowly took his hand, shook it once and let go.

"My name is Ulric. To whom do I owe this pleasure?" Ulric stuck his hand in his pocket, looking almost too relaxed.

"Um.. Ozelia." I glanced at my female companions, who were each on the very edge of their seats by now. Botan looked at me with a sparkle in her eye and winked. I blinked back at her and turned back to Ulric.

"How beautiful and unique. Thank you for blessing us with your beauty, Ozelia." I mentally rolled my eyes, cursing him for his language, but Ulric was not to be put down. " A new restaurant opened up just outside Tokyo city and I would like very much if you would accompany me." Ulric's flashy smile would have wooed any girl but myself- the only thing I could think of was how much his manners reflected Kurama's. At that thought, I nearly choked. I could not have Kurama- there was never away for anything to work out between us; why not accept Ulric's offer?

"Okay..." I choked out the word slowly, nodding shortly. Ulric's smile widened, if it were possible.

"Lovely." With that, Ulric disappeared out the door, the tiny bell chiming as he did. I turned back to the girls, who were practically drooling. They snapped back into reality when food presented itself on our table. Botan squealed, throwing her arms around me in a hug across the table. I shoved her off and started to eat, trying to pretend like nothing had just happened.

"I can't believe that just happened!" Botan's voice was so high pitched I was convinced only dolphins could hear it. I shook my head at her, swallowing my food. Keiko was smiling from her seat next to me, though she held her tongue, keeping to herself. "I thought you were into someone else?" She raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah, well..." I took a drink, looking past Keiko out the window. The street was bustling with many faces, all of them passing by as blurs. "I need to get my mind off him anyway." Kurama's face flashed through my vision: his kind emerald eyes, soft and flowing, vibrant red hair, the sweet smile I'd seen a million times. Sadness tugged at me at the thought of giving up, but I knew it was inevitable. There was no way we would ever be together. Ulric, however, was equally as handsome, with eyes of a similar color that sparkled while he spoke. _You'll get over Kurama. I'm sure Ulric is great. _I signed inwardly and continued to eat. Botan seemed to notice my sadness and taken the hint because she stopped talking immediately and shoveled her food into her mouth quickly.

* * *

><p>I walked up the stairs as slowly as I could, which was saying something due to the extreme height of them. Botan and Keiko waved goodbye to me from the bottom and I returned a halfhearted smile and turned away from them. Half way down the steps I saw Yusuke and Kuwabara coming towards me, their bags over their shoulders. I paused, waiting for them to reach my point in passing.<p>

"We gotta be getting to our homes, but we'll see you later okay?" Yusuke shook his hand through my hair, effectively messing it up. I fixed it with my own hands, sticking my tongue out at him.

"Definitely. You know where to find me!" I mustered up as much excitement as I could. I didnt really have a reason to not want to see my friends. That was the whole reason I came to Japan. Yet, the thought of an upcoming date with a stranger was so unfamiliar that I'd become uncomfortable with the whole idea. _Maybe I should just pass it up..._ I looked at the temple as I reached the top of the stairs. Genkai and Yukina were on the porch drinking tea. Genkai gave me a slight nod as she spotted me.

"Hello, miss Swan!" Yukina shouted happily at me, a polite smile on her face. I waved back at her as I'd done so many times today. I approached them, but stopped as the door slid open and Kurama stepped outside. My heart started to race. _He's your friend, why are you freaking out?_ I questioned myself, but already knew the answer: He would eventually find out about my date. I wasn't sure why I was so afraid- I knew Kurama would handle it well. He always did. There was no reason for him to be upset with me; he'd already told me we couldn't be together. I sighed as he walked towards me, relaxed far beyond what I was capable of.

"Hey..." I pursed my lips. Kurama was smiling and paused a mere two feet away. Without needing to say so, Kurama turned on his heel to walk beside me. I dodged the deck, avoiding further company. Genkai didn't say anything as we passed her, but she held a look in her eye that made me believe she knew more than I'd wanted her to. Kurama and I met the edge of the woods near a dirt path that wove its way through the forest. I'd never walked it before, having only been there for a few days, but I trusted Kurama knew it far better than I. It was wide enough that we could walk side by side with the small space between us.

"How was your lunch?" Kurama questioned innocently. His head was held high and he was facing forward. I studied him in the corner of my eye, the dreaded question in the air. There was something about the way he carried himself that had be mesmerized. He looked confident, like nothing could tear him down. _Thank God for that..._

"It was... Okay." I shrugged, trying to waive off any suspicion he could possibly have. Unfortunately for myself, Kurama is no fool.

"Something happen?" He tossed a look at me, as though not trusting anything I would be saying in response. I huffed inwardly.

"Well, yeah. I guess." I watched my feet as we walked, the dirt being crushed beneath my boots. "This guy asked me on a date." I felt Kurama withdraw slightly, though he recovered much more quickly than I would have been able to. I was silent for a moment, Kurama walking by my side. The birds chirped from above us and I listened to the sounds of the grass under us, the shuffling of our feet.

"I said yes." I blurted. Kurama didn't seem to hear me, but I knew better than that. Kurama looked at me, his head tilted. I pretended not to notice, my head hanging low.

"I'm happy for you." Kurama spoke softly. I didn't look at him. I couldn't. Somehow, I felt like I'd betrayed him.


End file.
